I've gotten the last of my results for commontest back today, and guess wat? I scored a whopping 19 points!! I'm proud of myself!! Btw, juz in case u dunno, it's the less points the better, 6 being the best, and 54 the worst, but of coz, we r expected to get below 20... Hey, din I juz barely make it?? Kewl! Alrite, enuff of tat rubbish... *rub* *rub*

I was rather bored during assembly diz morning, when I saw diz teacher standing quite close to me. He was the teacher in charge of my lovely CCA btw. But no matter what happened, however many times he looked at me, he never recalled who I was.It never ceases to amuse me on how teachers forget so easily the pple around them. Either tat or they juz gave up on me... I dunno.

But granted that teachers do meet a lot of students, and hafta remember alot of faces, it seems rather impossible for one to forget another tat u haf scolded so very fiercely half a year ago. The skool is not tat big u knoe. I remember sitting rite next to the teacher for lunch, and he even talked to me, not knowing my identity. I was so surprised. It's pple like him tat make me slack so much, haha, not tat I'm blaming him for it or anything. It juz seems tat pple tend to forget things very easily nowadays. When the world becomes more and more busy, pple forget more and more things, even if it was rather recent.

It's so sad u knoe. I mean, it's ok to forget the bad things(like my case, hehe), but the good things oso r easy to forget. When did u last remember to tell your mom/dad that u loved her/him, or thank a friend for helping you out some hard times? I guess for most of us, it was really a long time ago. And it juz gets worse everyday, the more busy you are, the more involved u r wif work, and skool and stuff, the more you forget. You become so busy until u forget abt ur family, ur friends, and even urself. Did you ever remember stopping for awhile, and giving urself a pat on the back, and saying, 'Hey, I did sumthing great today, good job!'

So take the time off sometimes, and juz sit down and reflect, did you forget anything todae? Did you remember to thank the nice aunty who gave you an extra large cutlet from the store? Did you remember to support your friend in his important match today, like he did so for you before? Or most importantly, did you remember to take a break, sit back and relax urself, and reward urself for the hardwork you've been doing? Next time before you rush off to get busy again, try to remember...

Memorably,
KW

Alrite, a new post at last, after 12 days of slacking... Too caught up diz days, Diablo II, studies, etc etc... But I'm finally here!! Yay!! However, that's not really much cause for rejoicing, coz juz moments ago, a friend of mine decided to stop lending pple his laptop. Yep. That means pple like me suffer big time. That decision was made due to faults in the computer that could not have been made by him, thus pointing the finger directly at us, the users. Yeah, and I guess, out of sheer niceness and all, he wun accuse anyone, he'll juz remove the privilege.

I call it a privilege coz it's not a right. Duh. He does not charge is one cent for the usage, yet he has to pay for any faults or damages done to it. It never ceases to interest me on how he doesn't mind pple using his com when the other laptop owners are so particular about their own. Not that I'm saying he should suddenly do so, coz I'd be a great hypocrite to say I'd like that. But juz that he is nice enuff, and the users (yeah, me too, esp me) tend to take for granted that what was supposed to be a privilege is now a right. We (Ok ok, at this point, I should revert to I) use it for our own purposes, without permission for however long we like, never for once considering about the welfare of the computer, simply becoz it's not ours.

Even at this point, I'm already using sumone elses computer, and yet I bargain for time extension when the owner wants it back. I'm surprise that they allow. Looks like not everyone in the world is as bastardic as I am, thank god. But sumtimes, it really does irk me to think that so many pple, me included, tend to take for granted the little things in life that are not ours, the little privileges we get, like help from friends, love from parents, and the sort, and we demand for it as though it was ours from the start. I find it kinda sad. Well, nobody's perfect, and I wun go on to say I'm nobody, coz really, I am sumbody, sumbody with the heart and soul, with a mind to think, and to correct the many mistakes we make in our life.

Ok, gotta sign off now, better not keep the owner waiting, ciaos!!

Short n Sweet,
KW

Oh yeah, A Maths and Bio over at last!! I dunno whether to laugh or to cry... To laugh coz bio was so easy for me, or to cry coz I lost 39 marks for A Maths already, not including careless mistakes, errors and whatnots. And that btw, is 39 out of 80!! Woohoo!! I'll be one lucky son of a b**** if I pass. *Attempts to kick himself in the ass* *Falls over trying* Argh!! At least one maths is over. Still got E Maths tomorrow, wonder if I'll pass diz one. Thing is, I always suck at mathematical calculations. Dunno why. And yet, when it comes to money or favors or those kinda things, I can be so calculative and accurate! Why doesn't it carry over?! Life sux, and so do maths.

Hmm, here's some food for thought, literally. I was going for dinner yesterday evening, *stomach growls hungrily* and there was diz JC gal getting the rice in front of me. There was another pot/pan watever you call that, so I lifted the lid to get the rice inside. Only to notice there's no scoop/big spoon/metallic curved thing with handle(geez, my english is horrible) inside. But before I can finish placing the lid down to grab the *insert correct noun* from the other pot(??), the JC gal very nicely placed the one that she was using in my pot... I was so surprised that I said thanx. I was even more surprised when she said welcome. At first I was a bit suspicious that it was a prank. Only seconds later I realised that it was out of good will...

Guess this is what happens when you become too numb to Courtesy and Politeness, and totally cannot recognise it when it comes your way. When I said I was so surprised that I said thanx, I meant it, that is, I did not expect to say thanx, juz said it out of reflex action. The point is, I can be surprised at saying it, only goes to show how little I say it. I guess there is no need to elaborate on the welcome part. Oh well, I shall shut up for now, proud of the fact that my blogs are getting somewhat shorter... *beams delightfully* Oh yar, how's the colour? I tot it was too dull, so I'd liven it up abit, hope it doesn't coz an eyesore instead, haha!!

Colourfully,
KW

Lit is over. I'm dead tired. Lit is over, damn hard, I'm screwed. Lit is over, and I dun understand the questions I was doing! *Jumps up at this point to scream and shout* There, much better now. Sometimes I wonder, why did I choose lit as my only humans, did I make a right choice? This morning, all my classmates were asking the same questions. But no matter, what's done is done. No point ranting and raving about it is there. As long as I like it. Ha! If only we could do all the things we liked to do and still be successful... They say lit is all about understanding, and I dun understand Julius Caesar, so I'm gonna fail? *sobz* I hope not...

Speaking of understanding, there is one more thing that I dun understand, other than JC, LOTF, the stars, the earth, life, the universe, the creation, heaven, hell... All these can be understood in time, and with a little effort. But what I really can't understand is, the female mentality. *sounds of drums and cymbals* Yar yar, speaking of this brings up the time old battle between the sexes. I'm probably going to offend somebody with some harmless statement and I wun even knoe it. They say it's all about sensitivity. Gals too sensitive, guys too un-sensitive. One is filled wif too much, the other wif almost zero. I agree.

Last nite, I received a call from a female friend who has been ignoring me for a long time. When asked why, she said, to put it simply, "I dunno wat to reply to you." Now that is summarising, pple. Of coz there was a lot more she said after that, but it all boils down to one point. If you can tell me diz now, why can't you tell me diz earlier? Could have done a great job clearing the confusion I had... Naturally, when one is ignored, the first thing that comes to mind is why. And from my limited experience wif the opp sex, they get mad at you for no good reason (good to them, but not to you of coz). On the bright side, at least I din receive the rough side of the tougue I expected.

Well, I juz might get it now... Who knows the complexity of the female mind?

Dumbfoundedly,
KW

Hey, time to talk again! Yeah, I cut it short, but that dun mean I'm gonna shut up for long. Juz means more posts in one day, ingenious ain't I? *luffs like an idiot* Wait a minute. *stops and scratches head* Ingenious Laughing Idiot? That's a new one. Oh crappiness, thy holy one, thou infuses me with such crap that I cannot believe myself.

Argh!! Exam stress muz be getting onto me!! I think I did rather badly for Chem... Left one 8 marks, or was it 11(?) nearly blank. Then suddenly got the New South Wales English Sumthing. Did fairly well I supposed, until somebody told me I was suppose to score full marks for it... Tomolo is Physics and Lit. Wonder if I'll do well. *wonders if wondering helps*

S'posed to write sumthing else today, but no mood. Maybe later tonite. As for those who absolutely 'lurve' my extremely long posts, thanks for all the support, but dun bother reading them unless you are really bored, which upon reading will only bring you deeper into the chasms of boredom. And if you have any insults you are dying to throw/hurl/spit/ at me, or any praises you wanna heap upon me(if only), or any other loose thoughts you decide that you juz hafta put here and not there or anywhere else like your own blog, juz click the comments.

Hmm, juz an after thought. I shall try to be straightforward and to the point from now on. But that would mean losing the sarcasm, and the idiosyncrasies(did I spell that right?) I have. What fun is there? They say that the most intelligent pple inspire in few words. Well, I say the most spiteful pple type essays and the reader still gets offended. I wanna be the latter. What about you?

Ciaos!!

Recently, in fact juz yesterday, my friend commented that I write essays for my blogs. I'm inclined to agree. What better way to practice for English exams than to write essays daily? But seriously, it is a bit long lengthwise, and sorta bores the reader to death, or even deters them away. *Pauses and thinks for awhile*

Well, I could always make the color scheme hurt the eyes, or write in alternate caps and smalls, that'd be more lively right? Then again, this is more for myself right, so what the hell to I care whether pple read it or not. You wanna read, you read, you dun, buzz off. Hmm, not exactly the best way to make friends is it? Ok, I'll shut up right about now, so that I dun spoil the friendship mood (Yeah right).

Today marks the start for friendship week in my skool, and probably in other places too... In lieu of that, all posts I enter for diz week, or at least until Friday, shall be regarding friendship, juz to promote the theme. Hey, maybe I'm psychic, coz my posts on friendship started yesterday, hehe!!

Ok, first, I'd like to say hello to all who are looking at diz and wish you a HAPPY FRIENDSHIP WEEK! Big deal, every week can be considered friendship week, why bother to use only one week to treat your friends better? I think it's stupid... Aniwaez, juz for the fun of it, here's a little story...

I was in canteen today, feeling a little guilty for stealing away with some unpaid canteen food when I saw some of my classmates and decided to join them. Not long after, diz cute little sec 1 from the class I attached myself to, came up and sat down wif us. He told us he was going to nominate 2 PSLs of the class for the Most Outstanding Friend Award (some friendship week program)... He then proceeded to ask me to guess. Knowing full well the answer could only revolve around 3 pple which did not include me, I made my guess. I was rewarded with the smug shake of his head. Yeah yeah, I'll bet you're thinking tat the fella is gonna tell me I was one of the chosen ones. Well, you are WRONG! He did not choose me.

Honestly speaking, I felt a teeny weeny bit dissapointed, but only tat much, coz I wasn't expecting anyone to nominate me. It's already not easy to find good friends in my skool, dun say sumone who will go to the extend of nominating me (yar, sec 4s all scared they do this will lose face). My classmate, who happened to be one of the chosen ones, innocently asked him about me. Yar, I knoe, me and my big ego immediately crossed my fingers and hope he'd suddenly remember me, though he should have already since he was staring rite at me. He simply said he'll consider. Hmph! That kid! After all I've done for him too!

Ok ok, not to go on about sour grapes, but I felt somewhat touched and tongue-tied. I neva dreamed in my whole life that anyone would even consider voting for me. Partly becoz I was somewhat a loner, and not really considered a real friend by many, and partly becoz I neva tot any one would even take the trouble to do such things. I wish I could have said sumthing nice like 'thanks' or 'it's the thought that counts' or 'I really appreciate it' but I couldn't. I juz stared. But of coz, as always, I stared thru that mask of concealment that everyone wears, the very mask tat prevents us from doing or seeing many things. Only the younger ones lack that mask. And even then, the mask is already forming. So I juz left. Without a word.

I remember what tat boy had done for me before. He was one of the few who stood up for me against their monitor, and wrote my testimonial for me. He was also the one, so I heard, to have drawn the pictures on my appreciation card. That he bothered, that the class bothered, meant something to me. Maybe I din knoe it, but I was being considered a friend. Indeed, I mingled alot with them, I threw caution into the wind, and allowed myself to become less of a senior, less of a big brother, and more of a friend. Some said it was not the right thing to do, they would lose their respect and eventually climb over my head. But I disagree, they knoe enuff, they are only 13, yet I see some that are mature way beyond their years, though others, are still very much juz pskool kids who juz entered secondary skool.

Friendship like I said before, is not easy to get, there is a lot of trust involved. And the fact that the sec 1s are willing to trust me, juz becoz I'm their senior, juz becoz I am bigger, older, and more experienced, really means a lot, and says a lot. They are still naive, and in time they will learn to be more suspicious, but for now, tat ability to trust so completely will suffice. In some ways, I too have learnt from this friendship with them. They have reminded me of when I was younger, more trusting, and more carefree. Now I knoe the world too well to escape from reality, though I do sometimes. That's why when asked why I wanted to be a PSL, it was a decision made 3 years back, in sec 1, when I was first accepted into the skool. I remember how I looked at my seniors, and the friendship I wanted to give them, though I never did, coz I did not see them as often as I would like. I remember how I decided, then and there, that I wanted to be a PSL too, to be on the other side, and to not only receive such friendship, but as to give them too.

Friendship knows no barriers or boundaries, pple of any age, sex or race can be friends. One of my closest friends is a Malay. If pple knew how to appreciate this, they'd be no racial riots, no discrimination, no sexism, racism, no bullying of younger pple, and a lot of other horrible stuff that happen nowadays. Sigh, I wish pple would juz try to understand each other and look beneath the mask of concealment. Aniwaez, since you are reading diz, juz try to pass the spirit of friendship on, at least for diz week, friendship week, and try to make a difference in one's life, juz like the sec 1s have done in my life, and hopefully I've done so too in theirs. Thanks for the wonderful experience RI 1J 2001!!

I can't take it anymore!! So far, only Rachel has visited and signed the guestbook. Urgh!! But then again, why the hell am I so hung up on whether pple see diz or not? It's juz a journal rite? I dunno... But hey, on the bright side, I have ONE person sign my guestbook, and TWO pple to link to, what an acheivement!! And what's more, now I knoe I'll have TWO pple that will link me!! I should be feeling very happy right now, but somehow I dun feel much better... Must be pre-exam stress... Hey, now I knoe why I come up here, not only to waste time, but to relieve stress!! *enlightenment* *transcends to godly status* Geez, I'm getting crappy again, the many things stress does to one... Oh yar, Rach, if you see diz, thanx for the help so far, and can you help me fix the font size?

Right, back to business. Today, I made a friend. I made a new friend. Not exactly new as you would call it, but still somewhat new. Diz person was always there, I saw diz person very often, and in fact lived a stone throw away from diz person, and yet, for one and a half years of my life, I pointedly ignored diz person, and only today, did I open my eyes, and accepted, made a friend, out of diz person. Such things I guess are not easy to do. We very easily ignore the pple we see around us everyday, be it the lady at the canteen, the guy sitting in a corner of the class, or even the person who stays next door to you. We do it so often that we dun realise it's second nature anymore. In the end, all you get is hello-goodbye friends that you dun take the trouble to knoe better coz of excuses like busy, and no time.

I wun be hypocritical if that is the right word to use, and go and say, well hey, I'm a friendly person, and everyone is my friend, and that I enjoy making new friends all the time! Coz I'm not, they're not, and I dun. For me, a friend is sumone you talk to, say hi to, feel comfortable around, and not juz anybody who doesn't give a damn about your feelings, and can't tell whether you're pissed or you're happy. Sounds familiar? Well coz half of your friends are like tat, and so are mine. That greatly reduces my circle of friends. I'm one that cherishes real friends properly, though I'm still quite a bastard sumtimes, but I've learned the hard way that real friends are far and few between.

And making friends are not as easy too. The biggest thing about making a friend, esp one tat has always been there, is forgiving. I be honest and say that the person I've accepted ain't gonna be as much a friend as I'd like the person to be, but acceptance is always a start. Sometimes relationships sour between pple before it is even given a chance to blossom, and that really sux. And when the experience is a horrible one, pple remember, esp pple like me.

I knoe I'll never be able to look at that person, which I now call a friend, without remembering the very experiences tat made me look away from tat person. And after so long of looking away whenever I see tat person, it becomes hard to look at the person to say hi, as though nothing has happened, coz sumthing has. I'll never be able to tok to the person face to face without a sense of awkwardness and unfamiliarity, and hesitation. I'll never be able to relax fully. Such is the many problems that makes it hard to make friends.

But at least I'm trying, to say the least. Impressions have been heaped on the person by myself, and by others, and alot of them are not necessarily nice ones, but I'm trying to forget them, and give that person a chance to prove them wrong. And that person as not failed me. With time, I hope, we can be real friends. Well, to that friend, if you ever read this, you knoe who you are, and I thank you, for giving me a chance, and knoe and forgive me, if I do not say hi to you, if I ignore you, or if I feel uncomfortable around you. Help me instead, encourage me, and take the intiative (not so sure if that is a good idea), so that I may be more than juz the guy next door.